IN 1995, I went to Chile's National
Stadium to watch a soccer match. Soccer was something I neither enjoyed
nor understood, but the game was hardly on my mind; instead, it was
the arena.
I was 20 years old and had come
to Chile to study. I also hoped to meet some of the surviving allies
of leftist President Salvador Allende, who had been toppled in the 1973
coup by Gen. Augusto Pinochet. I didn't care that the team Colo Colo
was playing Universidad de Chile, a squad affiliated with the college
until 1980. I didn't understand why security police were everywhere,
or why someone threw a flaming brick at me as I walked to the cheering
section for La U, as the Universidad team is also known.
All I could think of was: My God!
This is National Stadium, where the bleachers were once filled with
dissidents of every stripe after the coup, a mass waiting room for those
about to be executed or tortured. This is where women were raped for
the crime of wearing pants.
And it was at nearby Chile Stadium
where the great Victor Jara — the Bob Dylan of Chile and a political
activist (or was Dylan the Victor Jara of the U.S.?) — was murdered
by the Pinochet regime. Jara's fingers were mutilated in front of thousands
of other prisoners. He attempted to sing songs of resistance, his hands
bloody stumps, only to be gunned down as people in the stands tried
to join him in chorus.
I didn't want to be near these
places any more than I would want to watch a baseball game at Auschwitz.
But a friend saw the pained look
on my face and started to explain some of the history behind this rivalry.
I learned that Pinochet called himself "President of Colo Colo"
during his rule. My friend, a former student at the university, told
me that the school had been the center of radical ferment, which Pinochet
crushed. He told me about the students tortured, murdered, disappeared
or, if they were lucky, expelled — not from the school but from the
country. He told me of the students who remained, forced to study in
the gray conformity of dictatorship. He told me of programs called limpieza cabezas (head
cleaning) in which students were forced to listen to lectures on neoliberal
economics.
All of a sudden it made sense to
me why the tension in the stadium — five years after Pinochet had
stepped down — was so palpable, with separate seating for La U and
Colo Colo fans.
By 1995, Chile had existed uneasily
as a nominal democracy for four years. Yet there had been no reconciliation
and no reckoning for the victims of the Pinochet era. Pinochet's rule
led to the deaths or disappearances of nearly 3,200 people and the torture
of thousands more. Yet no one had answered for these crimes. The general,
as a condition for stepping down from power, had been allowed to rewrite
the constitution to make him and his cohorts immune from prosecution.
And he was also still in charge of the army.
In such a climate, I realized why
this was so much more than a game. It was a place of catharsis. In a
country where emotive expressions are frowned upon, it was a place to
scream to the heavens, to howl at injustice and to take a symbolic pound
of flesh against your enemies — under the guise of a soccer match.
It was also the place where I saw
my first live soccer match. It was where I finally got it. The insane
endurance on the field; the powerful fakes, twists and turns; the explosion
with every goal. As a basketball junkie, I saw why this — and not
hoops — was the beautiful game. Basketball, at its best, is about
teamwork and acting in concert with others. But too often, it's one
guy making a move while four stand around.
That day, I didn't see anyone —
players or spectators — just standing around. There I was, dancing
in the aisles as La U and its fans avenged 20 years of pain and defeat.
It felt good to imagine Pinochet hearing about this game and gnashing
his capped teeth.
Of course, neither I nor anyone
in my section were fooling ourselves that this was somehow an actual
"victory," with the fates of so many victims unresolved. It
was symbolism, pure and simple. But it was also an expression of humanity,
of resilience and release.
Now Pinochet is dead, never forced to take residence in the cage he so richly deserved. But as a Chilean friend e-mailed me after Pinochet's death: "In Chile, we have always known the truth about this evil man. It does my heart well that jail was his immediate future, and that he knew it." This is right. Any public humiliation Pinochet received at the end was the result of a movement of ordinary folks who never gave up. If the cheers for La U back in 1995 offered even a shard of support to those who felt their cause was just, then it was worth every last exquisite shout.
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